I Took A Walk

I was about to tell you about what a terrible day I had. I had already written part of it and was just about to get into a long rant about my uncle. But then I stopped to go feed my horses, and everything was perfect. It was cool and there was a slight breeze that held the fresh scent of orange groves. The sun was setting with splashes of pinks and and yellows, and all that could be heard was the sound of swaying trees and my rubber boots. So I took a walk...and everything was just so peaceful. I wish life could be like that:)

Then I made a pie:) It's pumpkin ;P

Random Comment: I want to own a cafe. Also, I have another thing, I actually decided this a while ago, but I'm writing it down so I can't go back on it: I'm not going to go out with anyone unless they're my best friend.

Images Scar my Mind.

I am not afraid to die; But I am afraid of death. I am afraid to loose those I love. I go through my day with hopes and dreams that are a constant shelter. But It seems as though, in only a moment, they can shatter. Honestly, I don't know what I could do without you. I don't know what any of us would do without you. Every time you come home from the doctors, more and more of you is gone. piece by piece. I can't help but see everything in your eyes... You've accepted it. You don't worry for your own life, you worry only for us. You think that if you weren't here anymore, you would be letting us down, but you wouldn't, you couldn't possibly. Through the years you have always been there, you have always pulled us through. I could not have asked for a better father... You know me so well, it seems, But you don't know that every day I say a prayer for you. Every day I ask God to let me keep you a little longer, then maybe, I'll be able to let go. I know now I can't, and I won't.

a quote:
"Those with inner strength, don't worry about what others think; because they thrive on themselves."


Random Comment: My hands were really toasty today, and my hands are NEVER toasty :O! Usually they're in danger of getting frostbite. :/

"Kaylee is an Albino Cream Puff :D"

I don't have time for a full post but here's a picture of my totally amazing kitty cat :DD he follows my brother around when he hunts :P



His name is Shay ")

Anywayyy, ya, title courtesy of Mona :P

I forgot what I was going to write about so i'm just going to list things...


- Grace, your blog isn't letting me comment on it DD;

- I want to live in Europe for awhile, then maybe in Canada. I definetely want to travel.

- I love pictures because i love to remember moments:)

- I wish you would stop avoiding me.

- I'm confused at the moment of what I want to do. Dream job, no pay. vs. Acceptable job, large amount? I want to live but I don't want to throw my life away. I need a compromise.

- You are most definetely my favorite brother. i love youu<333

- You make me feel like a pig. Even though I'm not.

- I love my room, it's so peaceful:)

- I keep going between wanting to live in the country and living in the city...

- I wish you didn't yell at me.

- I'm not a patient person.

- I love to walk around outside barefoot:)

- Burgers are grosss ;P

- I like the silence of nature.

- Eyes are amazinggg

- Horse's noses are the coolest thing EVER :D

- i know how to make soap :P

- why are you mean to me? you don't even know me.

- You people are my best friends eva ;D

- You're so nice, i really want to get to know you better:)

- You confuzzle mee.

- I watch cooking shows sometimes :P

- i really need to do something about those headaches...

- I never thought we would be friends, but here we are. and i'm so glad:)

- nail polish annoys me, mostly because my nails are super tiney :P

- I want to be a better friend to people.

- People who are annoyed by happy people can just go bury themselves, because I can't help it :P

- You are the only person who gets under my skin.

About that.

I would love some very brutal comments on this. "/

Well...

I've realized something today.

Sometimes I ask somewhat stupid questions, not because i don't know the answer, but because I want to ask something else.


My Random Comment: I want to start wearing perfume:)

RANT RaNT rAnT.

I'm probably just crazy but when people say they're "just joking" about something they said, I don't believe them. Because I think somewhere, way down deep, they feel something that would incline them to say that. People are full of suppressed emotions and thoughts. So when something slips out, maybe something hurtful, they might want to cover it up, and what better than to say "just joking".

I don't want to be like my mom, so why am I always acting like it's a competition between us? She likes to rub past accomplishments in my face, and talk about how many doctors wanted to date her. But If I do something great and I tell her about it she acts unimpressed. She acts like no matter what I do I will never measure up to her. All I want is for her to recognize something I do well. I want to prove to her that I am worthy of her praise, But she's too busy dwelling in the past. She doesn't even pay any attention to us anymore, all she thinks about is money and the next ufirst meeting. I want her to open her eyes and be a little perceptive about things. She doesn't know anything about me, or my little brothers. She just sleeps and yells and if she knew I was writing this would disown me. But I have to let it out someway or else I snap at her and get in trouble for "back talk". She's so oblivious to everything, and she acts like I know nothing about the world. I can't talk to her. I can be around her without getting agitated. I want so badly to talk to her about things that happen in my life, but she doesn't care. She is just interested in the next gossip story to talk to her mom about. For hours at a time she'll be back in her room, telling my grandma what terrible children we are, and how ungrateful we are for everything she does for us. It makes me sick. She wants to know the dirt on everyone, but she won't take the time to find out about her own kids.

Oh and my brother keeps walking up behind me and trying to see what I'm writing. -.-
I can't wait to move out.

I love my baby horsie:) She's very photogenic ;P

Look at 'dis.

Randomness comment:

I love splatter style ceilings:)
you never know what you might find.
It's a heart^.^->