Hide them in a pantry with your cupcakes.

My thoughts are scrambling around my brain.
I can't make sense of anything.
I'm tired.
My Uncle is in jail.
Why am I being like this?


Random Comment:
I'm going to end up with man hands if I keep climbing all these trees. :&

OKayy, so today wasn't that great. I got yelled at all the way to school. Following that, my parents said I was banded from the Internet until I was 18 just because they thought I was on it too much. Then my flash drive kept deleting my project. and I have a ton of homework. FUN. Obvious something must have changed, because at this moment I am indeed, on the Internet. So I'll answer this in a very long and drawn out manner.

I'm alot like my dad in some ways. Including saying things I don't mean. So after he told me I would never go on the Internet under his house again, I just left. I couldn't stand being in the same house with my mom talking about how much I care for my friends more than her. Literally, I was just sitting on the couch, and she starts talking about what a terrible child I've become, and how I'm not her little baby girl anymore. So I walked out the door, fed my horses, and sat in a tree for about two hours. When I finally climbed down and I stood there watching Margerita, doing everything I could to just avoid going back in the house again. Then my dad walks up, and tells me that he's going to let me use the Internet for an hour a day.....

Up in that tree, I really felt like I wanted to do something stupid. Anything stupid. I wanted to take a chance. Tempt fate. Everything was crashing down. But in reality nothing was. I felt like I was being put in a cage. I couldn't stand it. But, I don't do stupid things. I have too much self-respect.... It scares me I actually considered...I really don't know what I was considering....Nothing I guess. I'm just sick of being stuck in this rut I've put myself in.

Random Comment:
I love horsie kisses<333:D

Goodnight<3

Somewhere along

After reading a certain person's blog, I feel like a monster. Have I really changed that much?..... Where I only thought of how much I hated when my mom yelled or got stressed out, I didn't feel any compassion for her. She has so much to worry about. It bothers me how I could have been so selfish, and stupid. She does do alot, and she's always busy, and that's not her fault. I shouldn't be arguing back and adding to the stress. It's just wrong. I should be helping. Not making a burden out of myself.

I'm going to make a list of things.
Things that I have never done.
Things that I want to do.
And some things I never want to do.
...I like making lists as you can see :P
They help me sort things out.

Sorry this stuff isn't that interesting. But I'm too tired to write about anything else "/

I Have Never:

- ordered something from starbucks.
- told someone off.
- "talked back" to a teacher.
- had a tattoo.
- been on one of the big Ferris wheels.
- had a real job.
- made something truly beautiful.
- ran a marathon.
- galloped a horse ( my horse is too old :( )
- made breakfast for a stranger.
- bungee jumped
- sky dived
- seen snow
- snow skied
- water skied
- been out of the country
- kept a garden alive
- eaten one of those little pints of ice cream while watching a chick-flick xD
- slept under the stars
- told my parents how much they mean to me
- Stayed up all night and then watched the sunrise
- been completely alone for more than 12 hours.
- decided to just skip wearing make-up to school.
- skipped school
- driven a car
- been to Hawaii
- fasted
- worn my glasses to school without it being against my will.
- left a present on someones door step
- been to New York
- learned a second language
- seen a meteor shower
- had someone close to me die
- accepted a random stranger as a friend in myspace.
- been to a football game
- made a tree house
- caught a really big fish


Things On My Mind:
and no, I won't tell you who you are
even though it's kind of obvious :P

1. I'm really sorry.

2. You are one of my Best friends, and you mean alot to me and I can always share everything with you:), but sometimes i feel like we're always competing.

3. You are also one of my Best friends. You always know what to say and I think you are the only one who actually understands me:) Thank You for that:)

4. You are an extremely inspirational person:)

5. I don't know what you want from me. Actually, that's a lie, but I'm not really sure.

6. It's nice to be friends again:)

7. I don't think you like me very much, But why should you?

8. I feel like we are drifting, and it makes me feel alone.



I'm exhausted. i can't breath
I'm loosing track of my dreams. i lost them long ago
I'm an extremely emotional person. and they're crushing me
Today I almost cried. it's crazy how soft words get to me
But I'm going to keep going. for me

Because I can:)

Random Comment:
I miss my ballet class:(

I Took A Walk

I was about to tell you about what a terrible day I had. I had already written part of it and was just about to get into a long rant about my uncle. But then I stopped to go feed my horses, and everything was perfect. It was cool and there was a slight breeze that held the fresh scent of orange groves. The sun was setting with splashes of pinks and and yellows, and all that could be heard was the sound of swaying trees and my rubber boots. So I took a walk...and everything was just so peaceful. I wish life could be like that:)

Then I made a pie:) It's pumpkin ;P

Random Comment: I want to own a cafe. Also, I have another thing, I actually decided this a while ago, but I'm writing it down so I can't go back on it: I'm not going to go out with anyone unless they're my best friend.

Images Scar my Mind.

I am not afraid to die; But I am afraid of death. I am afraid to loose those I love. I go through my day with hopes and dreams that are a constant shelter. But It seems as though, in only a moment, they can shatter. Honestly, I don't know what I could do without you. I don't know what any of us would do without you. Every time you come home from the doctors, more and more of you is gone. piece by piece. I can't help but see everything in your eyes... You've accepted it. You don't worry for your own life, you worry only for us. You think that if you weren't here anymore, you would be letting us down, but you wouldn't, you couldn't possibly. Through the years you have always been there, you have always pulled us through. I could not have asked for a better father... You know me so well, it seems, But you don't know that every day I say a prayer for you. Every day I ask God to let me keep you a little longer, then maybe, I'll be able to let go. I know now I can't, and I won't.

a quote:
"Those with inner strength, don't worry about what others think; because they thrive on themselves."


Random Comment: My hands were really toasty today, and my hands are NEVER toasty :O! Usually they're in danger of getting frostbite. :/

"Kaylee is an Albino Cream Puff :D"

I don't have time for a full post but here's a picture of my totally amazing kitty cat :DD he follows my brother around when he hunts :P



His name is Shay ")

Anywayyy, ya, title courtesy of Mona :P

I forgot what I was going to write about so i'm just going to list things...


- Grace, your blog isn't letting me comment on it DD;

- I want to live in Europe for awhile, then maybe in Canada. I definetely want to travel.

- I love pictures because i love to remember moments:)

- I wish you would stop avoiding me.

- I'm confused at the moment of what I want to do. Dream job, no pay. vs. Acceptable job, large amount? I want to live but I don't want to throw my life away. I need a compromise.

- You are most definetely my favorite brother. i love youu<333

- You make me feel like a pig. Even though I'm not.

- I love my room, it's so peaceful:)

- I keep going between wanting to live in the country and living in the city...

- I wish you didn't yell at me.

- I'm not a patient person.

- I love to walk around outside barefoot:)

- Burgers are grosss ;P

- I like the silence of nature.

- Eyes are amazinggg

- Horse's noses are the coolest thing EVER :D

- i know how to make soap :P

- why are you mean to me? you don't even know me.

- You people are my best friends eva ;D

- You're so nice, i really want to get to know you better:)

- You confuzzle mee.

- I watch cooking shows sometimes :P

- i really need to do something about those headaches...

- I never thought we would be friends, but here we are. and i'm so glad:)

- nail polish annoys me, mostly because my nails are super tiney :P

- I want to be a better friend to people.

- People who are annoyed by happy people can just go bury themselves, because I can't help it :P

- You are the only person who gets under my skin.

About that.

I would love some very brutal comments on this. "/